No Matter What I Do, I'll Always Wear A Braveheart On My Sleeve.

I GOT INKED :)

It was only last night, when I finally decided to go against my original plan of getting "article x". Thank god, I did it too, because I'm sure I probably if I followed through with it I would've broken all the terms and conditions of the... contract within 2 mins of getting it done. Regret it, destroy it, oh but minus the blame. (It would've been my fault completely). So I emailed Gary up and told him the sitch, and he told me it was completely fine and understandable and agreed to make the change.

This is what I got instead:

(It looks pretty painful and bumpy and ugly atm coz it's freshh and still healing, hopefully it will look nicer soon!)

KEVIN RECORDED ME, OMG THE FACES I WAS MAKING. HAHAHHAHAHHAA, aww I was holding Theresa's hand throughout the whole process, I was scared and I squeezed it when the needle went past my wrist tendon (that bony bit) - IT CANED THERE, but I think Theresa's hand was in more pain than I was. Naw, I'm sorry babe! <3>Why did I get "braveheart"?

(there's a deep meaning behind it, haha you're all gonna think im corny or someshit but whateverrrrrr, it is something pretty important to me. don't laugh!)

----

WELL, I think you have to brave to let yourself fall in l-l-l-urrve. To take the chance and chase after that thing people all your life have been raving on about, this undefinable thing that nobody can ever be sure they'd find, where to find it or when you'll find it. But we're curious aren't we, and we keep wanting it, seeking it, losing it and rebuilding what we think it's meant to be like.

I've loved and lost before (a-duh!), and I guess, the mourning phase is definitely harder when it involves someone really important, something that you can't forget, something that you don't think you'll be able to replace. For the past few days, I've been thinking about how regretful I feel, for letting someone do that to me, hurt me like that. For making me so afraid to let anyone else in, scared that it'd all just end up with the same fate. For making me feel like I'm undeserving for everything I have put out. I didn't know how I would get over it, and life was getting pretty hard to put up with, and it was just that bit harder because I just didn't understand. But I've realised something else now, I need to be strong. Because when it comes down to it, I will always end up here, on my own.

I need to be brave. To risk the chance of being totally wrecked inside and out, risk being hurt, risk hurting others, risk losing everything and risk losing yourself, all in expense of winning in the end. It is scary, getting yourself into something that profound, you have to be weary that most of the time, there is only one chance, you have to realise that there is always going to be that undoubtful possibility, that it could be taken away from you, easily. That it doesn't even matter sometimes, how hard you work, how much time, effort, blood, sweat, and tears. Life is never ever sorry. Nothing is ever certain.

When I have kids, if there is one thing they will learn from me (not that I think I'm the kinda mother that will be any good at teaching them some shit like calculus) is to always no matter what happens, wear a braveheart on your sleeve. Give yourself to others and expect nothing in return, and don't be scared of being hurt because in the end, you will be safe and someone will always love you in the end, me. (their future super fully sick-mother)

That is all.
(THEY TOOK AWAY THE RUBIX CUBE WITH THE ETCHINGS ON IT @ MC. NAW THATS SAD, BUT ITS ALRIGHT)
I have definitely moved on :)